"She like-a da way ya dick taste"

That is my favorite line from a movie I watch way too often. I like to watch "Knocked Up" before I go out on Friday nights, when I get home from the bars while eating White Castle, when I'm hungover on Saturday afternoons, when it's on Starz, when I'm sad and when I'm happy.

Anyway, here's a current list of things I want for this spring & summer:

Aside from beer, my most favorite alcoholic drink is tequila, which leads us to Margaritas! This summer I'd like to celebrate Margarita Mondays with the Margarator. If this is given to me, I foresee trouble in the near future.


I think I want to start wearing heels more regularly? Especially ones that look like these? If I happen to purchase these, and wear them on a Margarita Monday, there is no doubt in my mind I will wind up with at least one broken bone. But they're so pretty.


Lots & lots of film. And I'd like it to cost less. Polaroid discontinuing pack film is really hindering my creative flow. Shame on you, Polaroid.

I think I'd like a new crush. Maybe even a crush that isn't one sided and on a celebrity? Perhaps a crush that would lead to a manfriend joining me on a family vacation so I could share my bed with him instead of my parents?


I'd love it if the Wormers could take a lovely, all inclusive, beach vacation together. It'd be like the episode of Saved By The Bell when the gang went to Palm Springs. Only there'd be less Kelly/Zack drama and it'd be more like a week long shitshow - like St. Patrick's Day, only on steroids, because booze would be free.


I need an apartment. Perhaps I'm picky, but I don't want to settle and live in a janky shithole. I'd like a nice affordable place, in a great neighborhood, that has an absentee landlady & all/most utilities included. Is that too much to ask for? I won't give up hope.


I want two arm fulls of Siamese kittens so I can create the New York chapter of an itty bitty kitty orchestra called "The Meowing Cats Chorus". I'll settle for just one to snuggle with, though. Top kitten names are Bowie, Arbus and Stout.


This is what a mature bed looks like. The damask print is seductively whispering, in a very attractive French accent, "Oh Cherie, I am so ve-lee sovt and at-tract-eeve. Buy me. Sleep with me. I vill make you ap-ee." My future bedspread kinda sounds like the bee from the Nasonex commercial. Want.


A goose that lays golden eggs, because c'mmon, who wouldn't want one?


Ok, my Veruca Salt "I want, I want, I want" rant is over.


Happy Birthday Mommy.
<3

I'm just taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River Line

Mr. William Joel said it best & you know the rest of that lyric. It's a little too cheesy for me to write. Plus it always reminds me of that episode of Sex And The City (I think I just lost 4 male readers) when Big's dating a movie star.

Anyway, I find that title only fitting because all these pictures are from my very first trip to Ellis Island. Being a New Yorker, I take things like the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building and really good pizza for granted. I realized this when I was playing the "Guess Where They're From" game on the ferry and overheard different conversations of awe. Ya know, everyone still gasps in the same language.



Shana and I, and maybe Jamie? (please please puhleassssssse come with us!) are leaving for our roadtrip to Graceland on Friday. I am super pumped to see more of the country and put some check marks next to my life goal list. Especially the one that says "See retarded landmarks around the world. I.E: Big Fake Dinosaurs/World's Largest Ball of Twine."
Wish us luck!
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If you’re looking for thrills Then get cold feet

(The song of the week is "I Do Not Hook Up" by mmmmKELLYCLARKSON. Sweet, sweet, Kels has done it once again and produced a song that will now be considered my anthem and sung at the top of my lungs when no one is around. Thank you for that.)

Only a baby post tonight. Sorry I've been M.I.A. I've had bigger fillet o' fish to fry. By that, I mean I've been watching so many episodes of bridal shows on WE that my male friends are oddly concerned for my mental health, and drinking till I black out. Welcome to my nightmare.

Anyway, A. I miss this:
and B. We will discuss St. Patrick's Extended Weekend 2009 and all the magic (make-a-wish make-outs, insults and accusations, alcohol theft, etc.) that came with it, just night tonight. I'm sure you'll be glued to the edge of your seat till my next post.

oh P.S. - not sure if anyone who reads my blog is a fan of BMX and I'm not sure if it's old, but this is pretty sweet. It's inspired me to dust off my Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX 2 game, pop it in my PS2 and knock over some ladders in Woodward. Cha ching

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You've got a diamond under your skin

This better be the last photo I take of snow in 2009. I've had it up to HERE - which is about the same height required in order to ride most major roller coasters in the US. Suck it old man winter.


Thanks to Shana's awesome recommendation, I've been a little obsessed with this band Seabear, since last Friday. The music is so cute. It sounds like a band of sparkling midget angels on vocals and 8 baby kittens playing the instruments. Ok, maybe that doesn't seem like it would sound very good, but trust me...it does. OH! And that adorable little name! Ever since I've heard the word "Seabear" my mind has stayed busy picturing something far too cute for this universe. So I took it upon myself to draw what I think a Seabear would look like:

Hamptons Friday!!!!! Can't wait to blow last St. Patricks day out of the water.
These tweets pretty much sum it all up: then the middle gets blank...then ashley will stick her hand in the garbage and pull out a bottle w very lil liquor in it. and shell walk around with the bottle doing mini shots out of it. and then I can't remember anything else.
VIVA ST. PAT!
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Yours To Keep

I'm currently watching season 3 of The Office. Andy Bernard is one of my least favorite characters of all time. I really don't think it's my pms saying this, but I want to kick Andy in the nuts while someone else rips out his vocal chords. Homeboy needs to take it down a notch.

Aside from watching my glorious DVDs from the comfort of my bed, I've been baking a lot. Earlier in the week I made some delicious Beer Bread with mah fave, Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. Deeeelish.

After learning my "Levon" lesson on Tuesday, I learned to pick something a little more "crowd friendly" at karaoke on Friday. I got really into Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know". I wish my Rosie Perez impression was this dead on. One day it will be - it's on my life goal list. Seriously. The night came to a close after we stole a marble owl we named "Hoo" from the bar and got some t. bell. I woke up Saturday morning with a tequila headache, after fending off advances from that creep Ali who tried to make me the little spoon during the middle of the night. Creep.

Last night I stayed in and made cupcakes for my Dad's 55th birthday. Bailey's Irish Cream, regular and white chocolate chips, topped off with a vanilla mint frosting. Yahatzee!

Here's to that snow storm of the century.
Anything's possible on a snow day!
<3

Can you still feel the butterflies?

HAHAHA oh man. America's Funniest Home Videos still cracks me up. I'm sitting here watching elderly people fall off boats and giggling uncontrollably. In my book, nothin is better than that. OK, that's a lie...maybe fart sounds. Seriously, it makes me sad to think that deaf people will never hear something so funny. This is something I think about on a daily basis.

Friday me and Ali packed up the car with snacks and drove down to Ocean City, MD to visit our friend Val. We're the only two idiots that could get lost between my house and the Jersey Turnpike....twice. We had a lovely 24 hours full of crab cakes, beers, and ice cream covered waffles. I also picked up a sweet new apron.


Monday Shana, Scott, Justin, Danielle, Whit, myself and a bajillion other people went to see Jimmy Eat World. It was the first night of the Clarity x 10 tour and something I had been waiting for since November. squee. They sounded AMAZING. I'm so so so lucky I got to see it. After the show a couple of us went to Barcelona Bar. Shots for everyone!!!

Last night to celebrate Fat Tuesday, Jamie, Shana & I went to dinner and then looked for something to do in one of the bars on Bell. We hit the goldmine when we walked in to Dempsy's and they were doing Karaoke. I finally got to sing "Levon" by Elton John. This is something the gay man inside me has been wanting to do for months. Mission complete!

<3

Amusement or treasure, these optimistic pleasures Like the Ferris Wheel!

Contrary to that little title, this post does not include one ferris wheel. How sad! Summer needs to get here quick so I can get to every possible longuyland fair and take one too many pictures of gigantic spinning wheels that make me smile.


Speaking of smiling and other odd facial expressions, every now and again I like to shut my bedroom door and practice different faces for my camera. You know you do it too. Most of mine come out a bit Downs-y. Which immediately gives me flashbacks to the Christmas where my family was playing Trivial Pursuit and after downing one too many CC Manhattan On The Rocks, my Dad announced "We didn't think you were going to make it past the age of two. Yea, we all thought you had...what's that thing called? Oh yea! Down Syndrome! I'm serious." Man did I prove you wrong or what, Pops?

Ocean City or Bust!

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