Dear Santa

Please bring me one of these

edit...i will accept any one of the following of these:
i'd like it filled like a stocking full of Hoegaarden.

Sping Break OH TEN!!!

So let me tell you about my weekend...well, Sunday really. I know, I know, it's almost Wednesday...eek! this week is flyin!

After waking up on Sunday and leaving Jamie a super sweet voicemail that went something like "Jamie, wake the fuck up, it's 10:30, i'm bored as shit and need to get out of the house. beach! beach! beach! call me back slut", and her finally calling me back, we decided it was far too cloudy the beach. "What do you want to do then?" I asked as i checked newsday.com....Seafood festival? no. Train tradeshow? nah. Horse drawn carriage exhibit? hale no. This is when Jamie was all "wanna go to the Hamptons?" to which i replied "duh! gotta go to att (for my phone which is totally messed up) & get gas, be at your house in 1/2 hour". On the way there we had to decide which part of the Hamptons we'd go to. We go to west hampton all the time & thought if we went, there was for a real chance we'd wind up at boardy barn, drunk and asleep in my car. So in order to resist temptation & do a lil shopping, we went to Southampton.

As we were getting into town we passed the Lobster Inn. It looked so cute and we were hungry & put me in the mood for lobster. Jamie suggested we go a lil but farther in to town to see if there were anymore lobstah places. Long story short, there wasn't & on the way back to the lobster inn, some douche in a Bentley that followed me for a couple o lights, honked his horn if i didn't step on the gas as soon as the light turned green. Being an expert in road games, at the 4th light i didn't move, screamed, gave him the finger & proceeded to drive 5 miles per hour until he learned his lesson.
We were sat on the lovely screened in porch at the back of the restaurant that over looked this river? is it a river? i think it was too big to be a creek, and there were lobster traps in the water...perhaps it was an inlet? Either way, it was beautiful & so nice to look at and a relaxing atmosphere to crack open a lobster & eat some bisque. That was until the kids showed up....these bratty little kids started running around the joint screaming at the top of their lungs. I started to block it out until it became blood curdling, when all of a sudden an old man that was seated diagonally across from us SCREAMS "QUIETTTTTTTTTTT! SOMEBODY SHUT THOSE KIDS UP". This threw everyone off guard. The mother of the kids was all "sir, i'm trying to control them". Gramps was like "yada yada yada" when all of a sudden another dude comes in , takes the bill that he's got in his hand that's in one of those bill holder things, and smacks the old man in the back of the head. This guy starts screaming "HEY! THOSE ARE MY KIDS! DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO THEM THAT WAY AGAIN! ILL THROW ALL OF YOU IN THE WATER RIGHT NOW! IM NOT SCARED!". Well, Gramps is just sitting there flabbergasted not knowing how to react, so his friend Uncle Milty, takes his 3 pronged cane & starts shoving at the dad when a waiter finally came in & broke it up. IT WAS INSANE. Never in my life have i seen such events take place. And that was basically it...everyone eventually calmed down, we finished our meal & walked around town - where i'm pretty sure i saw Paris' mom - mrs. kathy hilton.
I got home after a 2 hour drive and my Mini-Me was here.
after months and months of PLEADING "say Aunt Ashley, say Aunt Ash, pleasssse" and hearing her attempt to say the dogs names, i finally bribed her with some icecubes and she said "ashhhhh". It was pretty much one of the best feelings ever. To see my little niece go from this squishy bald thing that cried all the time to a lil person that runs around my house looking for "woof woof" and "baby woof woof" and calling out "choochoo pop" and saying "i love you nana" is pretty incredible...

i promise no other entry will ever have this much talk about kids. ever.again.

eh?

to my future boyfriend that will one day turn into my future husband: please show up on my doorstep, with maybe some flowers in hand, wearing these shoes when you propose to me. I promise i'll most likely say yes.

here's a list of things of the top 5 things i miss:

• the summer of 2007
• tour
• my tolerance
  
• Big Tuna
• the internet working at work.
  

my life...as of late...kinda.

So i guess i owe you some stories huh? Better go put on a pot a coffee & get your reading glasses bc this might be a long one. I'll wait while the coffee brews....


ok ready?
Last Friday morning I took my bags to JFK and hopped on a plane to Boise, ID. After a lil layover in San Fran, I reached my destination. In the cab on the way to the venue the radio was playing "Mr. Personality", which was only my favorite song of 1994...I was like "sweet! this is gonna be a great week!". I got to Warped, which that day took place on a horse farm, and got all my shit situated and went exploring with my partner in crime, Vipes. The sunset that night was amazing. I've never seen so many colors in the sky before, i think i even said "i now understand the meaning of 'purple magic majesty'. i know how lame i sound, but i don't care what you think - it was super pretty.

the next day we played The Gorge in Washington. I have never seen anything as beautiful in my entire life. I woke up early and just kinda stared at the scenery.

after that it was off to Oregon. We played in St. Helen's & Eugine. St. Helen's definitely reminded me Twilight & i pictured Edward Cullin flying in the woods. (>loser<). Eugine was cool...very eclectic - there was even a magic shop that sold crystal skulls. The boys in gym class played in pj's even though the venue was SUPER hot. That was also the night Four Year Strong's bus broke down and Josh & Dan kept us company until our bus broke down the next morning and 25 of us rode on one very cramped bus to San Francisco. That was also the night Tyler Hates bought Seth some budlight/clamato concoction and challenged Tim & Seth to drink them. Tim pussed out, i had a sip and Patrick drank the entire thing. I never want to taste vomit in the form of beer ever again.

you can find the video of 25 of us trapped on the bus on FOE. It was all fun & games till we had to get back on it at 3 AM and have a slumber party in the front lounge. well, actually, watching Hook was fun. Trying to sleep wasn't. I remember looking out the window at 6 AM, passing a Sonic, and being pissed.

Somewhere in California, 40's were brought by one of my favorite old interns, Cady, I drank 3, and became the ashleycat40monster.
sorry guys.

Other than that we spent most of the time on the bus watching Frisky Dingo ((BOOOSH! Harumph)) and The Dog Whisperer (i still prefer the Ghost Whisperer) - which upsets me bc you'd think after watching 60 hours of Caeser, i'd be able to train the puppy, but no. None of the tricks are working on Cruiser.

Anyway, I doubt any of you dudes will read this, but if ya do, i just want to say thank you again. i had so so so much fun with you guys...even on grumpy hangover days. i miss you all & can't wait to see ya.

I think i have a bunch more stories & i know i have tons and tons more pictures to post, and i'll get them up during the week, pinky promise?, but i'm sleepy and need to hit the haiii. Here's just a little taste.

Idaho? no. you da ho.

i'm so bumed i can't find that pillow case! i was going to show it to everyone in Boise tomorrow.
oh well, guess i'll just have to settle and make it my status on facebook.

i really shouldn't be writing this. i have to wake up in 4 hours & go to the airport. i can't believe tomorrow is the day. tomorrow is the day i've been talking about since march....since before march, really. my very first time on tour. i'm so so so nervous (where's a girl to poop and shower??) but so so so excited. you can catch all the live blogging i'll be doing for FriendsOrEnemies.com, here. i'm hoping we somehow run in to a Sonic so i can try the new fried ice cream blast. i loves me some fried ice cream.

i'm slowly recovering from last weekend, although my chest is still bruised from the traumatic rounds of vomiting that took place. Note to self: never again drink Goldschlager before going out. You are no longer in your teens and your body can't handle it. After i was kicked out of Monahan's for puking, i decided to leave them a nice present on their side walk: some more throw up! (this blog entry may be the reason why i don't have a boyfriend....perhaps?). Some guys started a bet and asked what i had for dinner....this is where Shana verbally bitch slapped him, so i'm told. I remember nothing else except for watching bits & pieces of super bad when i got home - the reason - my away message looked something like this: fogal this is bigger than us, sdjfkfgfgdfla groaslkw soem balllsjds.

Before pukefest 2k8 happened, jamie & i went to the Hall Of Science in flushing, right by those big spaceships from Men in Black and the Lemon Ice King of Corona.(there's an amazing pic under that lemon ice link). It was ok....no the place to go if you're in the mood to read stuff. Anddd the kids cutting me lines really bothered me, but i told myself "ash, calm down, today is not the day you get arrested for kicked a kid". I also found out that Plinko is merely a game of probability. See below for an example. Who knew?

i'm kinda getting really into the "Twilight" book series but fear for the youth of America that think relationships are supposed to be that way. Harry Potter FTW.


i love you basil.

so i guess i lied

regular postings aren't happening. i'm sorry. i've just been busy running around and/or feel like i have nothing too exciting to write here. also, i've kinda been in a weird mood and would probably just use this blog as a platform to complain, and that's what my diary's for....

But speaking of complaining, i might as well blow off a lil steam. I'm pretty convinced that Spencer Pratt just may be the devil incarnate. Lucifer himself. i'm not sure why he's been on my mind all day...maybe bc i saw that horrible photoshoot he did w/heidi for US magazine? But Dude. That douchebag is what's wrong with the world. Why nothing is fair, gas prices are high and there are starving children in Africa. I blame all of it on him. I don't wish him death, but definitely maybe a coma? He reminds me of this dude that dated one of my friends in college that tried to have me kicked out for having a microwave. That's right President Donovan & all my RA's - i had a microwave, right under my bed, for all 2 years i lived on campus and guess what...i cooked many a things in that microwave (pasta anytimes, popcorn, easy mac, bagel bites, cup o noodles) sober & not so sober and guess what else...i didn't burn anything down. Not once did anything catch on fire. This is exactly what Mr. Pratt wants though. More press....and ya know what? 10 pesos says he has his name in google blog reader, will now see this and release a press statement trying to tell the world what's wrong with me.

Last weekend was Warped Tour. Im so nervousslashexcited about going out next week. FRIDAY Vipes and I will take over!!! Watch out boise!!! I can't believe it's time already & that tour's almost completely over. (Where'd this summer go? I feel like just yesterday i was waiting to get in to Boardy Barn... which btw - i still have the goddamn V tan). I tested out my bunk monday. It's so cozy. I hope we all tell ghost stories before we fall asleep. Not really scary ones, because then i'll never fall asleep, but cute ones about Casper. My feet are still dirty from going in the FYS pit w/out shoes on with Gaby. (Don't judge. i'm not one of those girls....yes, i did wear flip flops to warped...however, i took them off so i wouldn't lose them. it makes sense). Miraculously,my feet were not damaged, but i am having trouble lifting my right arm above my head.

Also last weekend, Shana & I went over to Jamies & danced around in the rain before i jumped in her pool during the storm. Probably not the smartest thing to do, i definitely could have been struck by lightning - but hey...i'm a risk taker. We also watched Penelope (which was so cute & depressing) and the forever classic Anchorman. There have been talks about getting "Stay Classy" tattoos for Rock's bday tomorrow. Aye Carumba.

That's pretty much it. The new Four Year Strong video was released today. Check it out. i think you'll like it. It was a fun set to be on and Jake's Snoop impression is kinda dead on.

That's pretty much all i got for ya. i really really really want a bagel and so i'm super distracted.
here are some old old old pics of some carnival i went to last summer i think?
enjoy!

ps - i have anew favorite website: www.wherearethedogshumping.com andddd Chris Crocker cracks me up.

i think my diary is jealous of my blog

i'm not sure where i should start tonight...
well, here's something - Friday, Danielle, Alex & myself chose outside the bun and went to the big T-Bell for lunch. It was the first time i'd had it since a drunk night on longuyland many moons ago. I like to people watch as you may or may not know, and so as i was eating my little taco, who do i spy walking in to the door? Kirsti Alley. As soon as she walked in, she kinda did an about face and left...maybe she was upset bc everybody knew her name and weren't so glad she came.
Friday night we didn't go back to see Billy Joel. Tickets were wayyyy to expense and my dad was scared Shea Stadium would collapse. I hear that lil bitch Paul McCartney showed up. I'm kinda really upset i missed it. =0/. And so instead of going out w/Russ or heading to a bar with Rocks or showing up to Matt's party in Spring Valley, me & my migraine sat at home playing Guitar Hero till my eyes burned and it was time to fall asleep. btw - i just beat it on medium.

Saturday Rocks, the Gavster & I braved the thousand degree heat and went to the Village Restoration to see the Civil War Reenactment. You're probably wondering why i went and if i've gone before and the answers are "i don't know" and "yes". It's not like i'm a huge history buff, but there's something about grown men playing dress up that amuses me. We pulled in to the parking lot and someone's license plate said "GEN HILL"...that also amused me. Because it was so hot, they cut the war short, but, if you listened carefully during battle you could hear some of the ridiculous things the dudes said when they decide they'd had enough, were "hit" and died. I was cracking up when i heard someone scream "WHY ME?!!" and decided that even though this battle wasn't as long, it was just as good. I also saw a pig that had balls bigger than Cisco Adler. It was nuts. (pun intended).

I wound up staying home again last night and watched "The Ex" starring Zack Braff, Jason Bateman and a slue of other A-Listers with my sister. I kinda back it...then again, I backed "Kicking & Screaming" with Will Ferrell (can't wait for Step Brothers Friday).

Today we had my nieces second birthday party at the house. My bro's mom & her side of the family came over as well as my dad's. I thought it was pretty cool that after 20 something years my dad could sit in between my mom & his ex wife and everyone laughed & exchanged recipes. I kinda felt like the 3 of them were like Kate Hudson, that guy w/the long hair she was married to & Lance Armstrong. My niece is so so so cute. I just wish she'd start saying my name!

oh! i got my Land Camera to work. After buying 90$ worth of film and blowing thru (threw? though? someone please tell me which one i use) about $20 of it in an hour with no results, i FINALLY got it to work. Here's some shitty pictures of the pictures...i'll scan em for reals when i get a hot minute. i'm happy w/the way these 2 turned out.


ok that's it for me. hope you all got a chance to see batman.

PS - this is awesome. I love love love Girl Talk & someone on youtube is making videos for all the tracks off his latest album. it's pretty sweet and looks like it took an amazing about of time to do. check it out.