Dear Santa

Please bring me one of these

edit...i will accept any one of the following of these:
i'd like it filled like a stocking full of Hoegaarden.

Sping Break OH TEN!!!

So let me tell you about my weekend...well, Sunday really. I know, I know, it's almost Wednesday...eek! this week is flyin!

After waking up on Sunday and leaving Jamie a super sweet voicemail that went something like "Jamie, wake the fuck up, it's 10:30, i'm bored as shit and need to get out of the house. beach! beach! beach! call me back slut", and her finally calling me back, we decided it was far too cloudy the beach. "What do you want to do then?" I asked as i checked newsday.com....Seafood festival? no. Train tradeshow? nah. Horse drawn carriage exhibit? hale no. This is when Jamie was all "wanna go to the Hamptons?" to which i replied "duh! gotta go to att (for my phone which is totally messed up) & get gas, be at your house in 1/2 hour". On the way there we had to decide which part of the Hamptons we'd go to. We go to west hampton all the time & thought if we went, there was for a real chance we'd wind up at boardy barn, drunk and asleep in my car. So in order to resist temptation & do a lil shopping, we went to Southampton.

As we were getting into town we passed the Lobster Inn. It looked so cute and we were hungry & put me in the mood for lobster. Jamie suggested we go a lil but farther in to town to see if there were anymore lobstah places. Long story short, there wasn't & on the way back to the lobster inn, some douche in a Bentley that followed me for a couple o lights, honked his horn if i didn't step on the gas as soon as the light turned green. Being an expert in road games, at the 4th light i didn't move, screamed, gave him the finger & proceeded to drive 5 miles per hour until he learned his lesson.
We were sat on the lovely screened in porch at the back of the restaurant that over looked this river? is it a river? i think it was too big to be a creek, and there were lobster traps in the water...perhaps it was an inlet? Either way, it was beautiful & so nice to look at and a relaxing atmosphere to crack open a lobster & eat some bisque. That was until the kids showed up....these bratty little kids started running around the joint screaming at the top of their lungs. I started to block it out until it became blood curdling, when all of a sudden an old man that was seated diagonally across from us SCREAMS "QUIETTTTTTTTTTT! SOMEBODY SHUT THOSE KIDS UP". This threw everyone off guard. The mother of the kids was all "sir, i'm trying to control them". Gramps was like "yada yada yada" when all of a sudden another dude comes in , takes the bill that he's got in his hand that's in one of those bill holder things, and smacks the old man in the back of the head. This guy starts screaming "HEY! THOSE ARE MY KIDS! DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO THEM THAT WAY AGAIN! ILL THROW ALL OF YOU IN THE WATER RIGHT NOW! IM NOT SCARED!". Well, Gramps is just sitting there flabbergasted not knowing how to react, so his friend Uncle Milty, takes his 3 pronged cane & starts shoving at the dad when a waiter finally came in & broke it up. IT WAS INSANE. Never in my life have i seen such events take place. And that was basically it...everyone eventually calmed down, we finished our meal & walked around town - where i'm pretty sure i saw Paris' mom - mrs. kathy hilton.
I got home after a 2 hour drive and my Mini-Me was here.
after months and months of PLEADING "say Aunt Ashley, say Aunt Ash, pleasssse" and hearing her attempt to say the dogs names, i finally bribed her with some icecubes and she said "ashhhhh". It was pretty much one of the best feelings ever. To see my little niece go from this squishy bald thing that cried all the time to a lil person that runs around my house looking for "woof woof" and "baby woof woof" and calling out "choochoo pop" and saying "i love you nana" is pretty incredible...

i promise no other entry will ever have this much talk about kids. ever.again.

eh?

to my future boyfriend that will one day turn into my future husband: please show up on my doorstep, with maybe some flowers in hand, wearing these shoes when you propose to me. I promise i'll most likely say yes.

here's a list of things of the top 5 things i miss:

• the summer of 2007
• tour
• my tolerance
  
• Big Tuna
• the internet working at work.
  

my life...as of late...kinda.

So i guess i owe you some stories huh? Better go put on a pot a coffee & get your reading glasses bc this might be a long one. I'll wait while the coffee brews....


ok ready?
Last Friday morning I took my bags to JFK and hopped on a plane to Boise, ID. After a lil layover in San Fran, I reached my destination. In the cab on the way to the venue the radio was playing "Mr. Personality", which was only my favorite song of 1994...I was like "sweet! this is gonna be a great week!". I got to Warped, which that day took place on a horse farm, and got all my shit situated and went exploring with my partner in crime, Vipes. The sunset that night was amazing. I've never seen so many colors in the sky before, i think i even said "i now understand the meaning of 'purple magic majesty'. i know how lame i sound, but i don't care what you think - it was super pretty.

the next day we played The Gorge in Washington. I have never seen anything as beautiful in my entire life. I woke up early and just kinda stared at the scenery.

after that it was off to Oregon. We played in St. Helen's & Eugine. St. Helen's definitely reminded me Twilight & i pictured Edward Cullin flying in the woods. (>loser<). Eugine was cool...very eclectic - there was even a magic shop that sold crystal skulls. The boys in gym class played in pj's even though the venue was SUPER hot. That was also the night Four Year Strong's bus broke down and Josh & Dan kept us company until our bus broke down the next morning and 25 of us rode on one very cramped bus to San Francisco. That was also the night Tyler Hates bought Seth some budlight/clamato concoction and challenged Tim & Seth to drink them. Tim pussed out, i had a sip and Patrick drank the entire thing. I never want to taste vomit in the form of beer ever again.

you can find the video of 25 of us trapped on the bus on FOE. It was all fun & games till we had to get back on it at 3 AM and have a slumber party in the front lounge. well, actually, watching Hook was fun. Trying to sleep wasn't. I remember looking out the window at 6 AM, passing a Sonic, and being pissed.

Somewhere in California, 40's were brought by one of my favorite old interns, Cady, I drank 3, and became the ashleycat40monster.
sorry guys.

Other than that we spent most of the time on the bus watching Frisky Dingo ((BOOOSH! Harumph)) and The Dog Whisperer (i still prefer the Ghost Whisperer) - which upsets me bc you'd think after watching 60 hours of Caeser, i'd be able to train the puppy, but no. None of the tricks are working on Cruiser.

Anyway, I doubt any of you dudes will read this, but if ya do, i just want to say thank you again. i had so so so much fun with you guys...even on grumpy hangover days. i miss you all & can't wait to see ya.

I think i have a bunch more stories & i know i have tons and tons more pictures to post, and i'll get them up during the week, pinky promise?, but i'm sleepy and need to hit the haiii. Here's just a little taste.

Idaho? no. you da ho.

i'm so bumed i can't find that pillow case! i was going to show it to everyone in Boise tomorrow.
oh well, guess i'll just have to settle and make it my status on facebook.

i really shouldn't be writing this. i have to wake up in 4 hours & go to the airport. i can't believe tomorrow is the day. tomorrow is the day i've been talking about since march....since before march, really. my very first time on tour. i'm so so so nervous (where's a girl to poop and shower??) but so so so excited. you can catch all the live blogging i'll be doing for FriendsOrEnemies.com, here. i'm hoping we somehow run in to a Sonic so i can try the new fried ice cream blast. i loves me some fried ice cream.

i'm slowly recovering from last weekend, although my chest is still bruised from the traumatic rounds of vomiting that took place. Note to self: never again drink Goldschlager before going out. You are no longer in your teens and your body can't handle it. After i was kicked out of Monahan's for puking, i decided to leave them a nice present on their side walk: some more throw up! (this blog entry may be the reason why i don't have a boyfriend....perhaps?). Some guys started a bet and asked what i had for dinner....this is where Shana verbally bitch slapped him, so i'm told. I remember nothing else except for watching bits & pieces of super bad when i got home - the reason - my away message looked something like this: fogal this is bigger than us, sdjfkfgfgdfla groaslkw soem balllsjds.

Before pukefest 2k8 happened, jamie & i went to the Hall Of Science in flushing, right by those big spaceships from Men in Black and the Lemon Ice King of Corona.(there's an amazing pic under that lemon ice link). It was ok....no the place to go if you're in the mood to read stuff. Anddd the kids cutting me lines really bothered me, but i told myself "ash, calm down, today is not the day you get arrested for kicked a kid". I also found out that Plinko is merely a game of probability. See below for an example. Who knew?

i'm kinda getting really into the "Twilight" book series but fear for the youth of America that think relationships are supposed to be that way. Harry Potter FTW.


i love you basil.