Our road trip to Graceland was awesome and most definitely filled with some "wtf" and "did that really just happen?" moments that still make me laugh when I think about them. On Friday, April 10, 2009, I packed the car and picked up Shana at an ungodly hour of 4:30 AM...it's just plane wrong and unnatural to be up before the sun. For the most part, we sailed smoothly (despite my "check engine" light coming on about an hour in to our drive and lasting till we got back home on Tuesday) to Dinosaur Land in Winchester, VA. We got lost along the way and wound up at that sketchy bait & tackle place where there were cameras monitering the bathrooms and they sold Clamato....you get the picture (and apparently so do they...of my ass).
We finally made it to Dinosaur Land where we were greeted by these magnificent, 20 feet tall, violent, figurines. And a Totem Poll.Check out the Dino in the background here. He's such a creep...just sitting there, scouring at the camera. He looks like the tall angry kid that's stuck in the back row of your third grade class photo, just plotting ways to ruin the picture. If you think this is disturbing, you shoulda seen the Brontosaures dieing in the sand pit, or the group of Hillbillies that were trailing behind us. Ehhllll.
Learning about all those precious dinosaurs made us hungry, and this amazing thought popped in to our heads - "We're out of NY...there must be a sonic around here!" - man were we right. I was so excited to get a Cherry Limeade, I got caught speeding. Doing 57 in a 35 is looked down upon and considered "Reckless Driving" in Virginia, probably because I could hit someone on a tractor. Thankfully, my officer decided he didn't feel like taking me to jail, I passed GO and collected $200.
Big apology going out to the homegirl at Sonic that brought us our food. "Ooops, I think there's some hair stuck to those pennies." I bet she really wished she could have spit in our food.
Once we ate, we were back on the road and on our way to the Shenandoah Caverns.
It cost $20 to get in, and we had seen stalagmites before, so we decided to just hang around the gift shop and then go explore this abandoned barn that we found next to the Tyson Chicken plant down the road.
We were going to drive all the way to Nashville that night, but after 13 hours of driving and a tornado warning in Knoxville, TX, we decided we should pull over and get a room in lovely Bristol (Palin) Tennessee. "Let's stay at a Howard Johnson says Shana. I say "Sure! They're cheap! Let's do it!". BIG MISTAKE.
Unforgettable things about our HoJo experience:
- As we were running out of my car to the "lobby" in the pouring rain, Shana slipped on the pavement and slid right into the hotel. Had we been playing baseball, an umpire would have called her SAFE and she would have scored a run.
- Boomhower from King Of The Hill was definitely in a room a couple doors down.
- The word "Fuck" was carved on the bathroom wall.
- There were ciggarette burns in our sheets. I tried so hard not to move during the middle of the night because I was afraid what my feet would find.
Easter Sunday we woke up bright and early and finished our drive to Memphis. Elvis' interior designer deserves a medal. Graceland was definitely cool and I'm glad I got to see it (plus I got inspiration for my next Halloween costume), but going to Sun Studios gave me chills. I didn't think it was going to mean that much to me, but I got there and it was like BAM! This is the reason why you are where you are in life.
We headed back to Nashville in the torrential rain to go see We The Kings & The Cab play a show at Rocketown. Shana gets 4 Gold Stars for keeping us alive in that weather. I didn't believe the song "Walking In Memphis" held any truth in the lyrics until I actually touched down in the pouring rain, myself. After the show a couple of us wound up back downtown. We went to a bar that was filled with lots of dudes and I thought "Yes! My odds have skyrocketed!" Then I looked around and saw that all these men were really friendly towards one another. I thought "Hey! Maybe it's a southern thing." Then I heard some guys singing Elton John and Madonna and thought "Well that's strange." Then I realized, we were in a gay cowboy bar. From there we wound up in a weird penthouse bar where a dance battle ensued and we were threatened and immediately had to leave before we got beat up. We shared a taxi back to the hotel with the loveliest gay man I've ever met, who once we stopped at the gay club he was going to, ran out of the cab like Speedy Gonzalez on crack.
The day after that was spent driving to DC and stopping at a couple Sheetz so Shana could get Mac & Cheese. And that was pretty much our trip minus a couple other incriminating tales. Spring Beak OH TEN!!!!!
Ok that's all I got for you, I am sleeeeeeepy! But before I got, please meet my new little lady, Lily. I didn't get 2 arms full of Siamese kittehs. Just one handful, and I couldn't be happier. awwww.
I'm taking flying trapeze lessons on Friday, Shannon's graduating from college soon and memorial day is coming up, so I'll have a lot to report in the upcoming weeks.
Night!
<3